"Jealousy is indeed a poor medium to secure love, but it is a secure medium to destroy one's self-respect," activist and writer Emma Goldman famously quoted, "For jealous people, like dope-fiends, stoop to the lowest level and in the end inspire only disgust and loathing." Jealousy brings out the worst in people, making them selfish, hurtful, and ugly in spirit. The first step in stopping jealousy is to recognize it. This isn't as easy as it sounds. Some feel the need to blame others.

Jealousy manifests itself in many different ways, depending on the individual person and the unique circumstances. Some people experience jealousy as a wave of self-pity or sadness. Some feel the need to blame others. Others may feel intense rage or intense grief or fear. One jealous person may act out aggressively while another may shy away from life and cry in the same situation. Note exactly how you feel next time you're overcome by jealousy. This isn't as easy as it sounds.

Next, ask yourself, "What triggered this reaction?" Do your arms shake with rage and frustration every time your husband has to stay at work late and finish a project with his female co-worker? Do you experience fear and panic every time your wife leaves for a working weekend out of town? Write down your feelings. Talk about them with a close friend, your spouse, or a trained counselor. Note exactly how you feel next time you're overcome by jealousy. This isn't as easy as it sounds.

Jealousy is another word for an intense desire for power and control over our partner. If you feel the need to control your partner, you need to realize that this is wrong. You must learn to let go and give your partner room to shine if you wish to have a healthy, happy relationship with him or her. Ladies, you teach people how to treat you. If you accept controlling behavior from your partner, you're teaching him that you'll accept this from him. Don't reinforce his issues.